The Isolated Leader

Originally published October 19, 2023 · Edited February 24, 2026 · About our editorial process

City managers and county administrators often walk a lonely path amidst a crowd. In the landscape of local governance, chief administrative officers play a pivotal role. Entrusted with the welfare and progress of their communities, these leaders often find themselves shouldering immense responsibilities yet walking a solitary path.

Over the past three years, I have facilitated well over 100 peer group sessions with city managers and county administrators. The isolation of CAOs has been readily apparent in these Think Tank sessions, and it seems to be getting worse.

The Structural Reality of the Role

The depth of this isolation becomes clear when you understand the dynamics these leaders face with elected bodies. For every decision made by the governing body, there is the potential for the manager to be caught in the crossfire of differing opinions. The manager occupies a position where conflicting directives from multiple bosses aren’t the exception. They’re the structure.

This complexity extends to relationships within the organization. While at the helm, everyone in the organization works either directly under them or through their subordinates. When conflicts arise, and they invariably do, the onus of resolution ultimately falls on the city manager or county administrator. Though they have a team of executives and other employees to converse with, all these individuals are a rung below in the hierarchy. This dynamic creates a situation where the manager has only two avenues for input within the organization: subordinates and bosses. The absence of peers to consult with further amplifies the isolation.

In the Spotlight

“A City or County Manager is the ‘Lightning Rod’ for all that happens each day. This feeling of isolation can be debilitating without great tools to survive in this ever-changing world of public service.” — Al Braithwaite, former City Manager of Oldsmar, FL

The chief administrative officer position, while respected, brings challenges that few other leadership roles share. The balance these leaders maintain is constant: ensuring the well-being of citizens and employees, managing limited resources, navigating bureaucratic complexity, and handling the nuances of interpersonal relationships within the government structure, all of which unfold in public view. The decisions they make reverberate throughout the community, affecting lives and shaping futures.

The Silent Struggle of Servant Leadership

This weight of responsibility, combined with the structural isolation of the role, can lead to detachment, burnout, and anxiety. The mental and emotional toll is significant. The human being in this leadership role often suffers quietly, without a safe outlet to express frustrations or celebrate achievements. Many are proud to play the role of servant leader, but I have spoken with many who are functioning more as a suffering servant.

“Having walked the solitary path as a former City Manager, I understand the isolation this role entails. City Managers and County Administrators bear the weight of conflicting directives and intricate organizational dynamics. Our decisions profoundly impact the lives of those we serve.” — Michelle Berger, Executive Coach and former Town Manager

What makes this particularly acute is that the isolation is structural, not personal. It’s built into the role. And when the environment produces isolation, one of the things it simultaneously prevents is Circle of Safety: the conditions where a leader can think out loud, test assumptions, and receive honest input without political consequence. For most CAOs, that kind of environment doesn’t exist inside the organization or in the local professional networks around them. It has to be built deliberately, elsewhere.

The essence of leadership isn’t just about making decisions. It’s about continuous growth, learning, and improvement. The most effective leaders recognize this and seek avenues to enhance their capabilities and well-being.

Building a Support System

Recognizing these challenges, many CAOs join ICMA, NACA, and state or local professional manager groups. These organizations provide a network of peers and typically offer useful best practices sharing. They serve an important need, and after large conferences, participants tend to come home invigorated after spending time with peers.

But this alone isn’t enough.

At the beginning of every City Manager and County Administrator Think Tank, each participant shares a recent success, an upcoming challenge, and what they would like to get out of the session. The two most common answers to the last question fit the themes of “wanting to hear about what others are going through” and “this is my monthly therapy session.” Both are calls for community among managers. Even within a great organizational culture, the chief administrative officer is isolated at the top, responsible for maintaining or more likely striving to improve the culture.

“Addressing the isolation of these leaders is not just empathetic; it’s vital for effective governance. By fostering shared wisdom and collaborative platforms, we can empower them to thrive, enriching the communities they tirelessly serve.” — Michelle Berger

Creating Safe Spaces

These leaders need regularly occurring safe spaces where they can share transparently what they are really going through. They need this with understanding peers, without the judgment or pressure they face outside of that space. Creating this can be difficult, particularly in local manager groups where proximity creates political complexities that make full transparency risky.

Many CAOs carefully cultivate trusted peers they can turn to. This is a solid practice, particularly when it becomes a recurring and repeatable check-in rather than an occasional phone call when things get hard. The decision to invest in that kind of connection, to protect time for it, to choose honesty over performance in those conversations, is a Define What Matters decision. It answers the question of what the person in this role is actually protecting, their effectiveness as a leader, or just the appearance of having it together.

One concrete step: identify one peer outside your immediate political geography, someone in a similar role who doesn’t share your council, your media market, or your state association politics, and schedule a monthly 30-minute check-in with no agenda other than honest conversation. Not problem-solving. Not best-practice sharing. Just two people in the same role telling the truth about what it’s actually like. That single recurring connection can change the experience of the role.

Framework Connection

The isolation described here is what Face the Truth addresses: acknowledging the structural reality of leadership loneliness and creating conditions to discuss it honestly. The decision to invest in peer connection despite time pressure and political complexity is Define What Matters in practice. The work of building systems that sustain connection despite the role’s isolation connects to Make It Real, and the ongoing discipline of maintaining those connections is Reinforce the Change.

Related Reading

• Navigating Isolation: The Frenemy Factor – Phil Smith-Hanes explores the complexity of peer relationships for CAOs
• Political Dynamics – Why governance challenges compound the isolation of CAOs
• Workforce Expectations – Understanding the pressures reshaping the relationship between leaders and their workforce